Loo Monologue

           Last over of the match, a deathly silence prevailing over the sea of humanity watching. beads of sweat forming on the brow, the heart beats loud and clear, 36 runs from six balls…a feat if achieved would shame miandad’s last ball a six.. no living mortal yet to achieve this in international cricket …the bowler chugging in …you see the crowd thinning , disappointed to the bone…for we always fail… suddenly the background to fade in the oblivion…the first bounce of leather and a wild swing…catapulted to seven skies…a long stare with feet rooted to ground …waiting for the umpire to raise his finger to relieve the unbearable burden…there is a moment at the other end….he is raising his hand, albeit both his hands…IT’S A SIX !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! …

          rest as they say ‘is history’ .Wild with joy I swing my arms, one comes crashing down on the flush handle and the other skids on to the bucket nearby splashing water all over. Sounds familiar ???? (still grappling to transcend my word play ???? i was the batsman facing shoaib )Maybe it has to do with humans hibernating in a bag surrounded with crap for about nine months; loo I guess is the way we connect to this primal truth. for all those who just believe in going through the motion..(just love this bit ‘going through the motion’ for this context ) and having a jaunt for a couple of minutes, stop right here and head to the next blog.
              Welcome to the world where all of us have been the loveable neighborhood spider man to the dreaded jack the ripper, wondering why on earth did Newton have to wait for the apple to fall for reality to dawn (that brings me to an important theory….the western commode I believe was the culprit, lack of visibility deterred this life saving realsiation of all important gravity !) .. a place where we have battled our demons and yes romanced with our loved ones .strategizing to win over the love of ever elusive to being Juan duan for every other girl in town. Ayn rand to Marx… ,Hinduism to its latest offspring called modi , ya…aids to piles !! ( when you spend hours in the loo…piles is very often not a blip on the radar of thoughts, what say ? .. ).

         Ever wondered the fertile of thoughts (and of course the unmentionables…) to be born in the most daunting of circumstances … .for the legions of humanity, to deny the ‘loo’ its rightful place in the pantheon of intellectual labyrinths is a crime !!. the creepy lizard on the ceiling to running water.. every single object and pure ether to produce such thoughts and someone said to crap is to is to relieve yourself !! maybe that was the most profound statement ever to be made. Maybe the marketer who coined the term ‘captive audience’ hit upon the word in the loo,we are all captive for we cannot deny the law of nature, to sit through and prevail , (so ain’t ‘captive’ just the word ) …guess its left to us…to just ‘go through the motion’ OR….to dream …………..

PS note : for those who believe this to be a truck load of crap…well, as the crap being the premise…what else did u expect
Acknowledgement : my cozy loo, without which this article wouldn have been possible…and last but not the least…thanks to nature…which gives me an occasion to dream and still remember it fondly

 

War of Cars…!!!

 

 

 

 

Boy …!! I am getting older

Boy… I am working too much these days. So much that I lost in contact with outside world, social life. I don’t know what is happening around, specially in fashion world which keep changing so fast….

 

 

This is abhisheck bacchan, rich kid who made all stupid movies and lives in his father name. The photo was taken in premier show of his latest movie “GURU”. Aaaaaaaaaah… look at that heir band and Kyarla coconut oil on his head … Doent he look like brad pitt in some angle?

 

Tax Axe

     Come March and every professional is busy listing his savings, investments and policies to escape the 1lakh Lakshman rekha drawn by IncomeTax dept. IT professionals in particular become more active during this period. I myself am very excited to submit my first IT returns, although i know that Govt babus are just robbing my money!! Neophytes like me sometimes are very confused as to where should this 1Lakh fit? Some common FAQs one come across are like, should i really show the savings? or is it OK that i just let it go and pay the extra tax. What are the best ways(rather, easy ways) to get rid of these things? What amount(premium and cover) of LIC policy should i take? Is PPF a better option? How quick can i open a DeMat account so that i invest in Mutual funds and show it in 80-c. Which all Mutual funds can i look in for? … and many more. Actually some of these are(were) on my list too.
     In my opinion one should consult a professional financer before taking a leep into such things. LICs may be a trap some times. Some of my firends were running late to show their returns, and in a hurry signed for a 50K priemium PA!!
My opinion is …. if you really want to save money or make some investments in shares etc., it can’t be done overnight. It is slow and continuous process. It needs some time to be spent on. Otherwise forget it. Just be cool, pay the excess tax.
     A cool mantra would be – Face the problem rather run away from it. Read out details from internet and get educated.

 

Vaikuntha Ekadasi

It is told in Hindu scriptures that only very few selected, bestowed, blessed people die on Vaikuntha Ekadasi which happened to be on 30th December. On this day it is told that the doors of Vaikuntha – the abode of Sri Maha Vishnu, are open and those who die get direct entry to the heaven. The co-incidence is that the so-called very notorious, blood-thirsty monster Saddam Hussein was also hanged on this day. Isn’t this a very strange co-incidence?

 

Height of advertisement

Height of advertisement… I heard it was to sell a refrigerator to an Eskimo and get an order an ice cream maker. Here is another extreme.

And oh my my… Look at that color combination…must have fetched best website for its design.

 

Copy cats in Bollywood..

This weekend life made me feel I am retired. No work load, No place to roam around. To add to all these weekend was extended by one day for  X’mas. So thought will open old CD boxes and watch some. The “some” went up to 12 to 15 movies in three days…, in room alone. (Pizza guy knows my address).

For my surprise, every movie I watch there is already a Bollywood movie I recall …with the same story.

Usual suspects -             Choclate ( anil kapur, suneil, emran etc. ) 

Fugitive            –            Criminal ( nagarjuna )

When harry met sally -    Hum tum ( saif and rani )

Leon          -                   Bichchu ( bobby deol )  

The most unromantic man of the year –    Pyar ke side effects ( mallika and rahul bose )

And so on ……..

If you are interested in knowing if any Bollywood moviw is really original, go to bollycats. If don’t find your movie there, congratulations …!!!

 

My Hostel

 originally uploaded by bachodi.

 

Fatwa on Arjun Singh

I guess there are a lot of people like me who dont like politics, especially in India where you dont want to waste time, or brain on such crappy things. But there are some politicians who are known to almost everyone. For Eg., Laloo!! He is very comical. There is another person whom i know these days very well, though i didnt want to. He is Arjun Singh. An intelligent idiot.
The controversial bill has been passed. The OBCs will get 27% reservations in govt-aided institutions. The equation is very finely balanced so that it wont cross the Lakshman rekha which the Supreme Court has put(50%): 27(OBC) + 15(SC) + 7.5(ST) = 49.5. Although the whole of educated circle in India is against this quota, Singh doesnt care any. Ambedkar himself had told that the quota system should not extend more than ten years from its implmentation. I know i cant do anything about this now. no … wait ….. I can do something …. as Bach said … I declare Fatwa on Arjun Singh.

What the Bill says?
-It makes 15 pc reservations for SCs, 7.5 pc for STs and 27 pc for OBCs binding on the government
-It exempts four categories of institutions: Institutions in tribal areas, research institutions, minority institutions and super-speciality courses
-Mandatory 54 pc increase in seats
-Reservation in admissions to begin 2007

 

My Wedding

Seems some marriages are made in heaven. My fiance(who is now my husband) and myself did not want to travel to heaven at such an early age, instead we got married in a marriage hall in the south of bangalore.  The wedding was attended by a lot of people, friends of the groom, bride, well-wishers, sympathizers, relatives, neighbors, acquaintances, friends of relatives and so on.

I had often seen people describing their wedding day as the happiest moment in their lives and so on. I would say it was the most tiring day in my life(no offence guru!!). You are draped in a heavy kancheepuram saree, there is almost 1/2kg jasmine flowers around a “virtual plait”, another 1/4 kg jewellery which includes a variety of earrings, necklaces, bangles and anklets. Sitting cross legged on the floor in this attire for around 3 hours is no joke. (but who ever calls marriage a joke??). After the entire ordeal is over, you and your spouse are made to sit like 2 exhibits for people to come and shower their blessings/gifts/comments. The most common thing people tell you after congratulating you is to invite you for breakfast/lunch/dinner. You smile, nod your head and say “Sure”!!!

By the time the guests have had lunch and left and you have stopped smiling, your cheek muscles are paining. It is difficult to manage a frown, leave alone a smile..All you want is it go and sleep for some time, but there is the reception!!!

(Rest to be continued if there are readers.. )